tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16103538.post3233016712549426100..comments2023-06-22T06:46:19.888-07:00Comments on Just another disenfranchised father: A fatherly punch to the face?John Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05326982429461344063noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16103538.post-10230027004753700052007-05-08T06:54:00.000-07:002007-05-08T06:54:00.000-07:00My parents put me through a horrendous divorce whe...My parents put me through a horrendous divorce when I was 18. My mom involved me and my sister way too much in the divorce because she was blindsided by it, and involving us gave her a back the illusion of a little control in her life again... I've been dealing with my anger towards her for the last few years. Yeah, my dad is a true nutjob that had the extreme mid-life crisis, but I would have been much more emotionally stable as a young adult if she hadn't forced my involvement in her divorce. It became "Our divorce", and that is horrible. I hate it that normal dads get put through the wringer this way.....it makes me unbelievable angry that some mothers would deny their children the presence of a loving father, when I would have given anything to have my dad want to be with me.<BR/><BR/>I wanted to let you know, that as someone who has been affected by divorce, I appreciate what you are doing. Don't give in...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16103538.post-83920538015947180292007-05-07T10:52:00.000-07:002007-05-07T10:52:00.000-07:00Superb commentary, as always.Your observation abou...Superb commentary, as always.<BR/><BR/>Your observation about 'cause and effect' is spot on the money, and struck a particular chord with me: I know - from painful personal experience - that the moment Dad puts a foot wrong, context and perspective are thrown out of the window: history, in the jaundiced eyes of a family court, begins from the day when you rise to Mother's bait. <BR/><BR/>It doesn't matter how much evidence you adduce (and I produced plenty, much of it written in her own hand) of her violence, mendacity, and control-freakery: the court will always see her as the vulnerable victim of a manipulative bully - indeed, the very act of seeking to counter the allegations against you is regarded with dark suspicion.<BR/><BR/>In my own case, I didn't fare too badly (these things being relative, of course): the judge actually awarded me more 'contact' than Mother had previously 'afforded' (her lawyer's term). In his final judgement, he characterised her as 'a woman of nervous disposition' (that's Judgespeak for 'fruitcake'); but it didn't stop him giving her a residence order - 'primary custody', I think, in Transatlantic terminology. <BR/><BR/>Within four months, she announced that she was relocating to the other side of the country: until that moment, I had no idea how much worse things might become...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com