Comments on Just another disenfranchised father: If you hate your father…

As a child of a divorce, this post hits home.What ...

2008-06-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

As a child of a divorce, this post hits home.

What you're saying is *very* true. I grew up listening to my (custodial) mother badmouth my father at any given opportunity to anyone who'd listen - her friends, her family, *his* family, even.

My mother still has things to say about my father, whenever the subject comes up. This is a man who has *never* missed a support payment in fourteen years - even when he was drawing unemployment. And she'll *still* run him down.

I can't hate him, although most children growing up in a home like mine will end up thinking their father is scum and that he's a deadbeat, if they aren't hearing both sides of the story.

Which *really* stings, because I'm just now trying to reach out to my father and I see the kind of man he really is, without my mother's badmouthing.

It's unfortunate that I'm almost nineteen and just coming into this - I missed so much.

Really don't want to hijack your comment section, ...

2008-06-16T06:53:00.000-07:00

Really don't want to hijack your comment section, but your posts always make me think about a lot of stuff in my life. My dad was an abusive drunk who cheated on my mom and worked when he felt like it, and then spent what money he had at the bar. We had a home and food on the table thanks to my MOM. Not all dads deserve love from their children, and it has nothing to do with anything but the way he treated us. However, despite everything he has done, I still have pity and human compassion for the man, and visit him, call him, and give him gifts on holidays. He's the only dad I've got. I try to use what I've learned and apply it to my own child and her relationship with her father. I have to say, any breach in their relationship is soley HIS fault and not mine, and I refuse to take responsibility for how he spends almost no time with her even though she is at his home every single weekend, as well as holidays and vacations, and pays no child support. I encourage her to have compassion and understanding for him, but the older she gets, the more she sees for herself his truly selfish nature. I have hope that because my father was worse than hers, and I don't hate mine, that she won't end up hating hers. But if she does, how can I blame her? He is doing this himself.

Thanks, man, didn't get a call from my kids today ...

2008-06-15T23:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks, man, didn't get a call from my kids today and wasn't at my daughter's graduation on Wednesday but this helped.