Comments on Just another disenfranchised father: The murderer-suicide in our midst

Until going through the divorce & custody machine ...

2008-07-28T11:48:00.000-07:00

Until going through the divorce & custody machine as a father of two, I was one of the ignorant masses who condemned anyone (father or mother) who undertook such horrendous actions.

Yes, without a blink of an eye, the father was someone to be feared... No WONDER she filed for divorce and took the kids! ...I would say, just like any other mindless mutt.

Then I went through the "process" of being stripped (and faring far better than most).

Suddenly, I started researching the details behind many of these heinous crimes about which I would read. I didn't just "judge" mindlessly without knowing what I hoped were some salient facts... and when you start to discover just how many of these fathers were stripped of their cash, their home, their children... everything... enduring false accusations of child abuse (or worse - child sex abuse), domestic violence and beaten down at every turn...

...you don't condone it - but you can certainly understand how and why it would happen.

I look upon these incidents much differently now... and with an eye on finding out just what kind of things precipitated the event.

I can,t agree more with your statement more,father...

2008-07-13T11:14:00.000-07:00

I can,t agree more with your statement more,fathers are pushed to the edge,A man in my town shot his wife,shortly after they separated,this was very tragic,and it is never the answer..but here,s the But...she left him for another man ,took the kids ,and then went after the family farm that had been in his family for over 150 yrs,still no reason to kill,the women he shot was my co-worker,and i miss her,but can we not see that the laws have to be changed,or should I say can they not see,...the answer is no ,not until it hits close to home,its like the traffic lights that should have been put in place before people are killed,things are never done until there is enough outcry Todd

Rock on dude! I could totally see my husband in a...

2008-07-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

Rock on dude! I could totally see my husband in a lot of the things you said. Our family court system is so freakin' primitive. It's not what's in the best interest of the child, it's whatever that stupid judge's opinion is in the 5 minutes they talk through your attorney. The whole damn thing is just wrong, wrong, wrong. Blog on!

John you've hit the nail on the head. If my father...

2008-07-04T15:49:00.000-07:00

John you've hit the nail on the head. If my father had done to me what my mother did, he'd be in jail.She got off scot free because our society refuses to believe that mother's abuse. As a woman I am disgusted by the neo-feminist movement that condones women abusing men and children. Feminism means equal rights ladies, not special rights.

You have a great blog. I see it's been ongoing si...

2008-07-02T08:51:00.000-07:00

You have a great blog. I see it's been ongoing since 2005. Are you doing anything besides blogging to change the laws that govern child support, custody, and/or alimony?

My husband's ex-wife has finally, after 14 years, ...

2008-07-02T04:29:00.000-07:00

My husband's ex-wife has finally, after 14 years, and with the overwhelming support of our family court system, succeeded in completely alienating his son from him.

My husband is an honorable, intelligent, hard-working, law-abiding man who wants nothing more than (to quote chris h) 'to fulfill his righteous role as hero to his son.' But thanks to the ex-wife's pervasive campaign of lies, PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome) and the support of our family court system, that is no longer possible.

My stepson called the other day asking for money. My husband currently pays his mother almost $1000 a month in child support, which she uses to fund her multiple substance addictions, so almost none of those monies go directly to the child it is court-ordered to support. And the court neither demands nor expects the receiving parent to provide an accounting of those funds, not to the court, and certainly not to anyone else.

So, despite already paying $1000 a month, my husband is still an a**hole because he won't give his son MORE money when he demands it.

There's no way for him to 'win' in this losing situation...the best we can do is hope that once my stepson becomes an adult, he will somehow be able to rise above the years of lies and look past his mother told him to see the Truth.

Maybe when people quit lashing out at their famili...

2008-06-27T10:12:00.000-07:00

Maybe when people quit lashing out at their families, their ex, and themselves, and start lashing out at the government that created these unfair ridiculous laws, things will change.

Digusting to say the least. Man I wish we could re...

2008-06-22T16:06:00.000-07:00

Digusting to say the least. Man I wish we could reintroduce common sense into society again, but alas the chances of that are laughable.

There should be righteous indignation at this message, but there is none and I find that truly saddening seeing as I had a father who almost crossed that breakingpoint.

Still find your blog informative and important as ever JadF.
Thanks for keeping it going.

Apparently, everyone is of the opinion that these ...

2008-06-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

Apparently, everyone is of the opinion that these men should just kill themselves and not involve innocent children. That's OK then!

Well...not quite. The new feminist mantra, taken up with gusto by women in general, is that any male who commits suicide is selfish.

The buffoons such as Levin and Sarler clearly don'...

2008-06-21T06:28:00.000-07:00

The buffoons such as Levin and Sarler clearly don't get the obvious. When you have run out of options; when you've been forced from your home, been forced from the lives of your children (including everything associated with them), and you have no redress; when you have been backed into a corner and you have no more options other than to accept the fucking reality of a life devoid of the meaning it once had which includes the very real and legitimate fear of the trauma your kids (whom you cannot help) may be going through; when your choice is to accept this harrowing injustice or to force the issue through kidnapping, murder-suicide or whatever else might seem a better option, even if it is not, it is no goddamn wonder such horrendous acts happen.

All a father really wants to be is a hero to his children. A divorced father has already proved a villain to his ex-wife. If then that father is denied his righteous role as hero to his children there is all but nothing left of him. He has again been reduced to a villain--but by his children. And, my God, how hard it is to know you're still a hero if you are the only one who knows it.

What about the mother in Carshalton who murdered t...

2008-06-21T01:17:00.000-07:00

What about the mother in Carshalton who murdered two of her children and tried to murder the third a few weeks ago? Or the women in Germany who put the bodies of their children in the freezer? Or the woman in Linz who held her three children in a cellar for 7 years, rather like Josef Fritzl? Mentally ill, all of them. The other difference is that I'm not in a position to give you any names or precise details, because they weren't reported, which, in turn, was because they weren't released by the authorities. It's difficult to demonise someone if you don't know their name.