tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16103538.post116862962542831570..comments2023-06-22T06:46:19.888-07:00Comments on Just another disenfranchised father: Read what I've written, I've got something to say.John Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05326982429461344063noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16103538.post-81790792437165947512007-01-29T03:40:00.000-08:002007-01-29T03:40:00.000-08:00Yes, Myra..there are good and bad on both sides of...Yes, Myra..there are good and bad on both sides of the divide. The major problem is that 'the law' is adversarial in nature-and can only fall on the best side of a deal.<br />With most Dads working in a 'normal' family they are the losers to 'homsey' Mum.<br />THEN..the vultures move in.<br />Simply put men- need more legally established rights,women need educating about the evils inherent in easy divorce and the 'vultures' need their wings not just clipped-but removed.<br />Nobody should make a living out of perpetuating such biased misery, never mind the societal damage being done every day!<br />I'm a Buddhist- so I leave Karmic law to take care of the rights and wrongs of my contact with the 'fair' sex.<br />No doubt my sad experiences were well earned by me in a former life. Oh!.. by the way- If my kids had stayed with me,as the majority wanted,-I'm sure their mother would have returned soon enough.<br />Now they are grown up- I never see them..Natch !! PAS rules.<br />5KAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16103538.post-1169055336833700392007-01-17T09:35:00.000-08:002007-01-17T09:35:00.000-08:00Hi there,I would have emailed this but couldn't fi...Hi there,<BR/>I would have emailed this but couldn't find an address...Somehow I stumbled on to a bunch of websites about disenfranchised dads (including yours) and I wish I knew some way to offer my help to the cause. <BR/><BR/>You see, I am a 30 year-old woman who was raised by her dad from the age of 3 on. There was a stepmother involved in the mix, but that's another story for another day. My folks managed to keep the divorce amicable (Dad told her to leave after a one-time affair). I realize my situation was one that fairy tales are made of in that I never heard either parent badmouth the other and joint custody was loose and friendly (dad was the primary custodian). There was no alimony. No child support. No battle. No problems. I am a strong, independent woman made all the better by my relationship with my father. <BR/><BR/>However, my husband's situation is the striking opposite of mine. When R. was 3, his father ejected his mother for adultery and thenceforth commenced the most vicious custody battle I've ever heard of. <BR/><BR/>R's dad had his ex-wife declared mentally incompetent and was awarded sole custody of R. the custody battle raged on for 10 years, culminating in a final showdown when R turned 13 and his mother tried, unsuccessfully, to turn R against his father. <BR/><BR/>Now, R's mother was no angel, however extenuating circumstances (namely the Vietnam War and a family history of alcoholism) warranted a little consideration on the father's part. R was permitted one visit a year to see his mother (for one month during the summers). <BR/><BR/>Then, the father that fought so hard for R refused to attend our wedding because of personal issues with his current wife. Go figure.<BR/><BR/>I realize most of the details are lacking in this story. I offer the two tales as a dichotomy. I agree that fathers have long been overlooked in custody arrangements. I distinctly remember a little girl in my sister's 3rd grade class telling her it was illegal for us to live with our dad and not our mom. <BR/><BR/>I guess my rhetorical questions are: How do we make a balanced equation in custody battles? How do we find compromise? How do I get up on my soapbox and tell the matriarchal family courts that I am all the better for being raised by my dad? What expert do I tell my story to? And on the other hand, who does my husband tell his story to? Who's to answer for the unconscionable behavior he witnessed from his father?<BR/><BR/>God, this goofy two way street and no street signs or directions anywhere. Keep fighting the good fight. You don't have to post this if you don't want. <BR/><BR/>Thanks,<BR/>MyraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com