tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16103538.post9099973667661034673..comments2023-06-22T06:46:19.888-07:00Comments on Just another disenfranchised father: Heroes in trainingJohn Doehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05326982429461344063noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16103538.post-92139386184881624722007-07-13T20:31:00.000-07:002007-07-13T20:31:00.000-07:00Well its me, the 24 year old college student (now ...Well its me, the 24 year old college student (now college graduate). I've run across your blog again after a long period of insanity that accompanied graduating from college. I am a child of divorce. I'm writing this for two reasons.<BR/><BR/>1) to refuse to be one of the faceless many you say read your words, shake their heads, say "that's sad," and move on without leaving some sign. I'd like to think, I am not one of these people. When I'm moved by the words of someone, I let them KNOW.<BR/><BR/>2) The other is to say that while I might not agree with your portrayal of women post-marriage (chalk it up to the innocence of the unmarried, undivorced, and single-parent raised), I do back you up without question in one thing. Your endless desire to see your children and have a positive impact in their lives.<BR/>Thank you.<BR/>For me the distance lies not with my children (I have none) but rather how long its been since I've seen or heard from my father: At least 11 years.<BR/><BR/>I lost touch with my father right around the beginning of high-school. A little context: my father is a man I've met in person twice both times long (~13 years) after he left (By his own admission an alcoholic and he chose to leave rather then fight what would certainly be a losing battle).<BR/>We wrote back and forth for about a year after that first meeting, which I'm sure I was more then a little shaky at, then about 3 or 4 months later, the letters just stopped coming. I kept writing for a few months after his last reply, but the answer was silence. He promised he'd never move, or if he did, he'd tell me.<BR/><BR/>Being a somewhat tech savvy person I decided to look up my father following highschool. He hasn't moved, to this day, he resides in the same house he has since we began writing to each other. I felt only anger. I debated getting in my recently purchased first car and driving to his house. <BR/><BR/>Ultimately, I decided against it. I figured if the letters had stopped coming, he might have sensed what I had sensed at that first meeting at the age of 13 (but what was too young to interpret). He didn't know me in the least. All those letters prior to meeting him, and he had no idea who this person who bore his blood in his veins but had grown up completely away from him.<BR/>Even with this glaring knowledge staring both of us in the face, I still wonder why he stopped writing. And to a smaller degree, why he started writing in the first place if he didn't intend to continue.<BR/><BR/>In closing I urge all those disenfranchised fathers who read these words to pick up a pen (or keyboard, or piece of <I>charcoal</I> and write to your children. Perhaps you won't send all of what you write. Hopefully you'll keep your anger from them, as it will probably only serve to confuse them. Pick up a pen and write.<BR/>The alternative results in me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com