You be the judge

Now that the noise has died down a little about Alec Baldwin's ill-advised phone message for his daughter, the newspapers and TV have had their fun, Kim Basinger's gone out an hired a bodyguard to protect Ireland from her 3,000 mile-away father, and Alec's been deprived of yet more "visitation" with his daughter, here's a question for you: if you were the judge, what would you do?

Despite considerable evidence to the contrary - at least enough to convict and condemn - I am still convinced that there are some good judges out there. Such people face a difficult problem with feuding parents and children stuck in the middle. What do they do? The law, conventional practice and general prejudice pushes them towards giving sole custody to the mother. Further practice, malicious prejudice and bad science push them to penalize the non-custodial parent proportionately for any conflict that they see, regardless of who generates it (please, no sanctimonious preaching about it taking two to tango), and especially if the custodial parent alleges abuse, regardless of any evidence.

If the custodial parent is clever about it, manages to demonize the non-custodial parent, confuses everyone's idea of cause and effect and plays to the gallery well enough she (usually) can write her own ticket, to the expense of the non-custodial parent. But once in a while, a judge must have an inkling that something whiffs unpleasant in the state of Denmark. That said, prejudice being what it is, it is at best described as "courageous", a euphemism for "I wouldn't if I were her", for them to go against the general flow and protect the non-custodial parent's rights rather than genuflect to the demands of the custodial.

In the case in question, it is more than evident that the custodial parent is up to no good. 14 counts of contempt of court denying the ordered visitation makes it pretty clear Kim's not exactly up to snuff as divorced moms go. And yet dad appears to be prepared to take out some of his frustrations on his daughter. That said, look at the provocation - several years of this and undoubtedly faced with a daughter who's being insidiously pressured to reject him. One would have thought that this would make it all the more important that he doesn't take it out on Ireland. But then again, how many of us would take this much pressure and not crack once in a while?

What's a judge to do? Well, the knee-jerk reaction took place and Alec got cut off from Ireland, again. After everyone's had a chance to calm down, Kim's had a chance to rub it in, Alec's been forced to eat crow in public and that public has gotten bored and gone to look for another low-brow scandal, what then?

So, dear reader, I offer you a virtual robe, and here, take the wig too, if you like. Very fetching. It suits you and lends an air of irreproachable authority. I am positively awestruck, yer honor. Please, after you to the bench, m'lud, and do be careful with the gavel, we wouldn't want any crushed fingers, would we?

Now, what would you do? Switch custody to Alec? Hmmm. Unlikely, and headlines are never all that good for a judge? Pretend nothing happened, lift the restriction on Alec and keep watching the circus as Kim looks for other ways to get in his face? More than likely, I'm sure, not in any way controversial and I'm sure you'll avoid any risk of being called courageous. Cut Alec off entirely? Probably not a good move, you'll just hand too much ammunition to those nasty fathers' rights scum. We can't have the peasants revolting any more than necessary, can we? Ireland? What about her? She'll just grow up to be yet another screwed up Hollywood kid and probably die choking on her own vomit. Shrug.

But seriously, what would you do?

Tags: Fathers Rights,