Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Father's Lament

Something tore inside me
The day she took away my son
It seems it won't repair,
It won't even form a scar.
The casual cruelty strikes me dumb,
The way that it was done.

I can see that what is best for him
Should be what is done.
But who says what that is?
One thing's for sure: they never ask me.
And this obviously isn't it,
Because it's best for none,
Except for those who think this is fun,
Or at least, a well-paid job
The easy, slow, daily grind
Of people's lives into hard ground
From atop a big book of words to make it all
Everyone else's fault,
Or mine.

I'm sorry, son.
It's not right, it's very wrong,
But they won't give me a way
To be you and I.


Anonymous said...

I just stumbled across your blog and it really struck a chord with me. My father was one of those men who was kept from his child (for 8 years.) I was that child.

I know that my father never quite recovered from his unwanted divorce, much less from the years that he was denied access to me. I've never quite gotten over it either.

I don't know the depth of his pain, for he wasn't one to speak much of such things. So this is more from the child's perspective than from the father's.

It broke my heart.

I had a close bond with my dad, and my mother couldn't have cared less when she tore us apart.

I'm still trying to heal from all of this.

America is a land full of injustice, especially where children are concerned.

Back in the early sixties, there wasn't much my dad could have done to fight my mom for custody. Back then the children always went to the mother, unless she could be proven to be an unfit parent.

Nothing my mother did in the public eye made her look like an unfit mother. But she was; she not only tore me from my dad and brothers, she forced me to call another man daddy, take his last name, and stayed with him even when she found out he was a pedophile.

Thanks for your site, I'm sure it's helping people. More of us need to speak out!

unknown father said...

I do not suffer the same problem as you. I cannot imagine how awful it feels to actually know your boy and not be part of his life. I feel for you

My situation is that I do not know whether someone is pregnant by me, but I am fairly certain that she is. The woman wants me to disappear so she and her husband can live their lives with "their" child. It worries me that the child will turn out to be mine and I will never know. And I feel like I have bonded with that child. Am I right to think that it is better for me and the child to know? The second part of your post obviously strikes such a chord with me.
Thanks for writing about this.

Anonymous said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss, and it is a loss almost worse than death.