On suffering

When a man first begins to suffer in a new way, he finds it all the worse for being unfamiliar and he is further distressed by not knowing how to respond. As he learns to cope, if he learns to cope, he expands his self understanding and repertoire of appropriate reactions to this and other forms of suffering. Only in this way can it be said that suffering brings wisdom, there are no other consolations.

Theories, thoughts and questions

Strife between the sexes is a natural damper on population growth. The denser the population and the more stable the environment, the worse it gets. The thinner the population and the more threatening the surroundings, the better things get.

Manginas and white knights are just trying to get laid. As such, they're often worse than the enemy who is so obvious to them.

Some of the worst white knights on god's green earth are male judges.

Most psychologists are in it for the mind games, the power over their fellow men and women.

Lady Gaga is a parody of Madonna, and hilarious with it. "I'm bluffin' with my muffin" and "I want to take a ride on your disco stick" - how can anyone hear that an not laugh? Sorry Camille, but your mistake was to take even Madonna seriously, never mind Lady Gaga.

Why, oh why, do we give a damn. What. Actors. Think?

War is the systematic elimination of young men from the reproductive pool, serving to reduce competition amongst alpha males . It also serves to weed out weaker men (and by weaker, I mean those that get killed, not necessarily those who are less strong).

That scene in Jarhead where Peter Sarsgaard freaks out because he's ordered not to shoot an Iraqi is one of the creepiest things I've seen out of Hollywood in a long time.

Housewife / Jobhusband?

Whoever it was who came up with "the 5 stages of grief" did a real disservice for the recognition of the simple emotion of grief.

Why is "anymore" one word and "each other" two?

Under cover agents can feel that they have lost touch with their original identities. I wonder if this has happened to me over the last few years. I wonder if it happens to us all.

Eileen Clark, the other side of the story

A few days ago, I posted the Telegraph story on Eileen Clark to my news stream. I found it so typically one sided of them - a woman kidnaps her children, separating them from their father for 15 years and now a major paper comes to her defense once she is finally caught. The other side's story was painfully absent, despite an appearance on Dr. Phil some years ago. Today, however, that side is to be found in eloquent form in the comment section of an article in the Oxford Mail. I copy it here in its entirety because it speaks volumes about how a mother can twist the law, politics and the media to suit her own purposes regardless of what is right or legal:

"This is in regards to the story you wrote regarding Extradition worry for family as FBI puts mum on 'most wanted' list. There are always two sides to a story. I would like the chance to share the “other” side of the story. I am ready to speak out and am amazed that no one has sought out any answers from the other side of this article. I am the sister of John Clark. I was Eileen Sams Clark sister in law and I was also a bridesmaid at their wedding. The article discussed about my sister in law and my niece and nephews is a huge distorted mistruth. The picture posted in the Daily Telegraph and now in your newspaper of Eileen, Hayden and Chandler is the first time in fifteen years my brother, my parents,( Chandler, Rebekah and Hayden's grandparent's), my brother Clay and I have seen of them.

First of all, Eileen Sams Clark has been on the FBI's wanted list for kidnapping and parental interference for almost the full 15 years since her abduction of my brothers children. Extraditing an American Citizen that broke US laws should be a simple procedure. Unfortunately, it appears that my sister in law and her advisors are using a political issue to try and help her AGAIN avoid due process here in the United States. Please do not misunderstand my intentions here. This specific extradition regarding my former sister in law is not about a British Citizen being extradited to America. This specific extradition regarding Eileen Sams Clark is about a US citizen, with a 15 year warrant out for her arrest being returned to America to face consequences of her actions. Eileen entered the UK because she was fleeing justice here in the United States. She was fully aware of all charges against her. Eileen entered a foreign country in order to FLEE prosecution. I believe, in my understanding that that means she is most likely in your country without proper documentation. Charges against Eileen were dropped in 2004 because the first grand jury transcripts mysteriously "disappeared". Two months later the State of New Mexico reissued the same exact warrant for her arrest. Her story so far was only a half truth.

To this day, my brother and our family do not know why Eileen "fled" and kept the children from my brother. No one seems to ask Eileen the question that has haunted me and my family for years, “If she was so unhappy and so distraught, why didn't she just divorce my brother?" All Eileen had to do was file for divorce, share custody with my brother and everyone could have moved on in their lives.

Unlike the Daily Telegraph article, your interview with Eileen explains that Eileen fled my brother because”she was too scared to remain in her marriage to husband John Clark when she left her New Mexico home in 1995." I cannot pretend to know what was ever truly in the mind of my sister in law. All I know is that my brother has been through a thorough background check from the FBI and the US Attorney’s office and there is no record of abuse whatsoever!

In your article, it stated, "In 2009, on the advice of lawyers, Mrs. Clark’s sons Chandler, now 23, and Hayden, 20, contacted the Santa Fe Police Department to say they were not missing, but living safely and happily with their mother in the UK." This did happen. The local police station was approached and given information. For some reason, and we truly do not know why, this police officer went into the NCIC system and took Chandler and Hayden out of the system. The person that was contacted in Santa Fe police department had NO authority to remove anyone from the NCIC (missing children) list. The officer was presented with a formal letter. He never saw or observed Chandler or Hayden. For all he knew the guy down the street could have produced the exact same information. In order to have had the kids name removed, they would have had to appear with proper documentation, to the FBI and prove they were who they said they were. Their attempt to remove their names from the list could have been resolved if they had actually contacted the actual authorities that needed to be informed. Later, through attorneys for Hayden and Chandler, it was proposed to my brother that if he were to drop the charges against Eileen, he could then have the ability to be in contact with Chandler and Hayden.

Throughout this ordeal is the consistent pattern of Eileen Sams Clark using the children as a wedge between her and my brother.

What is so painful to realize for my family is the fact that any opportunity to have a decent relationship with these three children has been taken away. None of this had to happen. Eileen Sams Clark perpetrated this chain of events. All of this could have been resolved simply.

My brother and Eileen were never formally divorced. My brother sought a divorce by abstention here in the US. That means that because Eileen was "in hiding" and could not be located, my brother had to post advertisements in the legal sections of local newspapers where he thought she might hide and post his intentions to legally divorce her because she abandoned the marriage. This took a year to legally accomplish. There was never ANY joint custody decided through a divorce at all. My brother was never sure that Eileen even knew that they were legally divorced until he confronted Eileen's father through the Dr. Phil show in 2005.

We have hoped for years of wishing to share a holiday with ALL of us together. We have always looked forward to having an opportunity to knowing my brothers children. Speaking just for myself, I would love them to meet my sons and to share pictures and videos we have of them when they were young. We are a decent law abiding family. We wish this could find an end and we might be able to reconnect with the children.

My family is like most families. We value family and the strength you get from that family.

My former sister in law has broken many laws. There are consequences for her decision to do what she did. My former sister in law has family members that are attorneys. She was and still is, fully aware of the consequences of her actions. Much of the information given to you in this article by her is inaccurate and flat out untrue.

My parents and I have remained silent all of this time with the great hope that we might be able to reunite with my brother’s children. My former sister in law has made so many false accusations that it is hard to keep them straight. Because Eileen has chosen to USE the political climate to fight extradition for wrongs she knew she perpetrated is unacceptable to my parents and me. My brother seeks to reunite and connect with his children. Unfortunately, to do that, his ex wife has to face the charges against her. Eileen is no victim here. My brother and the three children are the victims. I can only imagine the untruths she has told these three young adults. They have only had her to rely upon for all these years. Of course they will come to her defense, just as most children would. These three children were much to young to remember anything of their father when they were cruelly separated from him.

After all this time, I wish things for everyone concerned could have been different. My parents and I still would love the opportunity to reach out to these young adults and learn about their lives. We would relish the chance to share our lives with them. Their cousins would love the same opportunity as well."