I'm beyond tired. Exhaustion fell behind years ago. I have seen it all: incompetent psychologists, willfully ignorant "friends", exploitative counsel, blatant judicial bias, rulings dripping with cynicism... You would not believe half of it.
It hasn't all been bad, I've seen occasional sparks of genuine concern, some from the most unlikely of places. (Indeed, the likely places have been uniformly barren.) I have seen real concern and blessed with some truly caring support and competent counsel. But it has been a losing battle, and the few victories largely Pyrrhic.
I have been places even I scarcely believe, both good and bad. I would love to spill it all out, but the audience is small and it would only be self destructive. ("Anything you say will be used against you...")
There are not many options left. The damage has already been done. There was nothing I could do to stop it. I could only attempt to prevent it being worse.
I found this today (here):
May God bless you with a restless discomfort
about easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships,
so that you may seek truth boldly and love deep within your heart.
May God bless you with holy anger
at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
so that you may tirelessly work for justice, freedom, and peace among all people.
May God bless you with the gift of tears
to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, or the loss of all that they cherish,
so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and transform their pain into joy.
May God bless you with enough foolishness
to believe that you really can make a difference in this world,
so that you are able, with God’s grace, to do what others claim cannot be done.
Is this a blessing, or a curse?