Thursday, November 09, 2006

Patriphobes and misandrists everywhere

Sorry, I've been quiet for a while.

The truth is that at times I just get tired. I get tired of how difficult it is to get people's attention, to knock them out of their complacency and realize that there is criminal injustice of an unfathomable degree right in front of their noses. Most of all, I get tired of the patriphobes who get so much air time and publicity for their misandrist howlings. Like bullies in the playground, they're dominant and obnoxious and you just want to get away from them.

For example, the National Organization for Women has come out against Parental Alienation Syndrome with a resolution which reads like they're the final authority.

"WHEREAS", they write, with all the trappings of an authoritarian patriarchy they claim to despise, "the term Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) was created by the psychiatrist, Richard Gardner." OK, so far, so true, but "created"? "Coined" would be better, created implies he made it up, but that's what they want you to think...

"It is used as a tactic in courts by litigating attorneys as a defense strategy for batterers and sexual predators that purports to explain a child's estrangement from one parent, or explains away allegations against the estranged parent of abuse/sex abuse of child, by blaming the protective parent;"

Yes? Then prove it. I mean it. I've been in this game a couple of years now and don't know of a single bona fide case where an abuser has gotten custody on this basis, but I have encountered many where the abuser uses their custody to turn the kids against the other parent.

"WHEREAS, there are no data to support PAS" If you don't look for it, you won't find it. It's there, girls, just spend some time in a family courtroom.

"WHEREAS, mothers are primarily pathologized and blamed for interfering with their children's attachment to their fathers" Note the full-on sexism. Note the over-generalization. Note that failure to acknowledge that this can and does happen.

"WHEREAS, abuse is continued via the court system thru [sic] a series of ruthless assaults from all angles strategically planned over time by an abuser, his criminal-divorce-personal injury attorneys and PAS therapists to fully discredit, blame and control a protective parent with the sole purpose of hiding abuse, infidelity, finances and to "win" possession of the child(ren), while proponents of PAS profit" Note the full-on sexism. Note the assumption of guilt. Note the failure to acknowledge the very real power of the "protective" parent to use the courts to control the other parent.

"WHEREAS, as documented in the PBS film, Breaking The Silence, The Children's Stories there are epidemic levels of abuse and dysfunction in our courts system where espoused judges repeat Richard Gardner's unsubstantiated doctrine and make binding recommendations in conjunction with PAS therapists and PAS attorneys;" Note the failure to acknowledge PBS's documented misreporting and considerable bias on this program, explicitly pointed out by their own ombudsman and forcing them to make a more balanced program to compensate.

"WHEREAS, the newly revised, 2006 edition of "Navigating Custody and Visitation Evaluations in Cases with Domestic Violence: A Judge's Guide," published by The National Council of Juvenile and Family Court Judges, includes a strong statement condemning the use of PAS which it calls a "discredited" syndrome that favors child abusers in custody determinations" Now this is a good one. That guide is distinctly schizophrenic on the issue. It does say that PAS is "discredited", but it bases that statement on the APA's line that there is as yet insufficient formal scientific study to permit acceptance of the issue. This is not the same as saying it does not exist, nor that it is discredited.

Also, a little investigation will show that the Judge's guide is most likely strongly influenced by a recent paper of appallingly bad scholarship which sets out to undermine PAS mostly through personal attacks on Gardner as opposed to a direct investigation of the phenomenon itself. It was written by someone who is a strong proponent of the much more controversial recovered memory syndrome. (This author won a case against her own father, putting him in jail for molesting her, the evidence being her own recovered memories. As such, if the recovered memories were in fact bogus, and we can never know for sure, they would make this author a prime candidate for the most extreme form of PAS there is. Objective? You decide.)

Finally, it is interesting that the Judge's guide, while it does indeed claim PAS is discredited, also explicitly acknowledges that vengeful parents can and do turn their own children against the other in order to gain an advantage in court. 'Seems they want their cake and to eat it.

"THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED, that the National Organization for Women (NOW) denounces Parental Alienation Syndrome and recommends that any professional whose mission involves the protection of the rights of women and children denounce its use as unethical, unconstitutional, and dangerous."

So there you have it, the NOW dictates divorce-court professional ethics. Aren't they sweet?

Another sweetie, recently, is India Knight who, just as British Airways thinks that all men a pedophiles, thinks that all separated fathers are murderer-suicides and if they're not, then they haven't any balls. Her entire article is a transparent case of blaming the victim. I wonder how she'd feel if she were raped and we all claimed she was asking for it.

Why don't these women see how they put men in inescapable positions and then condemn them for whatever they do to try and escape?

Actually, I think they do see it, I think they get their giggles out of tormenting men like this. It gives them some pathetic sense of power, just like the bullies in the schoolyard.

Well, Ms. Bully & cronies, you may have some crude power, for now, but I know that I and my fellow disenfranchised fathers (here's another) are better than you and no matter how much it angers you nor how much you wear us down, we will always know that.

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Anonymous said...

There is data to support PAS...There not looking in the right places...Read my blog if you want data...
My mother used PAS abuse to try and turn me against my father & I hate her for it...I am 32 & it is still effecting my life...

Anonymous said...

There is data to support PAS...There not looking in the right places...Read my blog if you want data...
My mother used PAS abuse to try and turn me against my father & I hate her for it...I am 32 & it is still effecting my life...

Fidelbogen said...

Greetings 'Disenfranchised Father'. Is that your correct 'handle' in cyberspace?

Well. I like your blog. I like it a lot.

I am not a father, but i AM male....and as you probably know, we males are all in the same boat nowadays, fathers and otherwise.

Anyway, I too have a blog, which is here:

And I would be honored to do a link exchange, if that sounds like an actionable plan to you.

My compliments again upon your blog.



Fidelbogen said...

As regards PAS, I look at it this way: "Alienation Syndrome" (parental or otherwise) is certainly one of the ways that people (sadly) behave toward one another sometimes upon this earth. It's a fact. I've seen it. People act this way toward people.

AND....nothing in the nature of things would exclude spouses playing this game against spouses. After all, spouses are people too. Are they not?

Anonymous said...

I faced this too. My mother tried to convince me I was molested in order to take my dad to court. I almost bought into it because I was very young and believed my mother, but I never had any memory of anything happening so in the end I could not go through with it. Still it took years to repair the damage between my father and I.

She also referred to him as Hitler and literally danced a jig years later when we heard he had a heart attack, while I was on the floor sobbing. She did and said many other horrible things over the years; this is just the tip of the iceberg.

I took care of her when she was dieing from cancer, and did a damned good job, but after she passed I suddenly felt nothing but searing hatred for her. I refused to get her body from the morgue and was ready to see her put in potters field. Her family took care of it eventually.

I've struggled with the hatred and it's ruined my life. I haven't had a relationship with a woman in years and don't plan on it. I'll probably die alone with no offspring and that's probably for the best, considering I could never trust a woman.

Mothers who do this do not care AT ALL about the wellbeing of their children, whatever justifications they make, and should be prosecuted as child abusers.

John Doe said...

B3yond: I know, believe me, I know.

fidelbogen: thank you for your interest. I shall add you to my blogroll. (I am not, strictly speaking, anti-feminist. I think they have the right to their say. That said, they get to say rather more than their fair share, and balance, if there ever was any, has long been lost.)

anonymous: Your comment has become my next post which makes it more deserving of the visibility I think it deserves. Thank you.