Grief fills the room up of my absent child,
Lies in his bed, walks up and down with me,
Puts on his pretty looks, repeats his words,
Remembers me of all his gracious parts,
Stuffs out his vacant garments with his form.
William Shakespeare, King John.
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8 comments:
Wow-
I just found your blog, and haven't read much, but I totally get it! I am a stepmama to a wonderful 10 year old girl, whose mother is fighting us to hell and back for no apparent reason, other than she thinks she is more important than my hubby in the child's life. For years she had more days each week, and we recently had to go to court to force her to make the time equal. And now, even after the judge's order for equality, she is fighting it, not allowing the child to be with us on our appointed days, and generally being a huge pain in the ass.
I don't know much about your story, but I will definately read on...
hold your head up...
amanda
I am not new to your blog JADF, yet the bards words suffice.
-Strength and Honor-
The reality of being a Divorced Father and far away from your children. Losing the connection of having an influence in their daily lives is heart breaking. Men are in our generation coming to the conclusion that we no longer have a chip in the game. And as a result are refusing to marry. The Legal system preys upon the carnage of Divorced Families. And the system encourages Women to break their Marriage contract.
The loss of Family and Men's participation in Family Life is one of the greatest issues in our current culture. This is a much greater threat to Marriage than Gay Marriage.
this is really hard, to deal with not being part of your son's life. I didn't see my son for almost a whole year, and every day is a battle, still, when I wake up i wonder what today holds for this war, the war that they started, when they took away my son my rights, my humanity. I will do whatever it takes, this is the art of war, my art project, so fuck you western world, suck shit and die.
checkout my blog posts - judge said in the record "Mr Hindle, the federal government is screwing you!"
Eureka but he still wants to keep Emily with her mom in the US...go figure.
Karl
hindle.karl@gmail.com
I just saw your blog today. While I do feel your pain as a single father myself, I don't agree with everything you have stated. I got full custody of my kids about 6 years ago and they've never done better. I couldn't care less if they ever see their mom again, but I know it's wrong to keep them away from her too. Unfortunately, as everything goes, my situation is an exception and not the norm. I will spare you the details, but suffice it to say that a court has ruled that she is to get no visitation or custody at this time.
My point is sometimes it's worse for the kid(s) to see the absent parent than to just be forced to stay away from them. Of course, that's in my case. For the most part I think if both parents are civil, stable, and loving parents, they should be able to see their kids every day if they want to. That's just not going to happen though.
What sucks about our laws and processes is that in the end, the child is the one that suffers the most. And a lot of times the more deserving and loving parent is punished as well.
I feel your pain. Hang in there!
First off there is no knowing justice for divorced dads,my ex dictates to me my life,i rarely see my daughter whom she moved 5 hrs away from,i pay a large amount of child support,even though she and her boy friend cop that she met on the net and left me for after i worked two jobs to get her a degree in nursing,and then left me for him a month after grad,who,s cobined income has got to be 160,000 a yr,I still have to work two jobs to live,and if i get a raise she gets a raise and if i work extra to take my child on a trip the two times a yr I get her then the next year my support goes up again,she makes more money than me,if she works extra no one cares if she gets a raise,it doesn,t help me, how many politican would like to lose their raise every time they got one,so my ex gets 10,000 a year from me and doesn,t have to claim it ,and i can,t claim it,gee can,t someone see somethings wrong,and the money is not spent on my child, it pays for the new hummer,the new avalanche,harely,atvs skidoos, I live from pay to pay,and most important,I miss the walks with my little girl,i miss the hugs,and the daddy I love you ,the bed time snuggles and stories and the wonderment of each new discover,her childhood is sliping away and i,m missing it,.because the system does not work,I have been put aside she now calls him daddy and me by my first names, my calls a screened and they answer if they choose , so ya i feel your pain .... Not even a father any more...just a atm...
Don't give up hope. It took me six years and when she had them, I was paying $1,273/month in child support. It sucked seeing her buy a new house and car!
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